Present perfect and past tense
This is not an English lesson. It’s just a life lesson, one that took me too much time to learn.
Sometimes I want to turn past into present and I finally get tired of trying and trying and not achieving it. I am perfectly aware of the fact that this is not possible, but I tend to live in the past, it’s just one of my methods to bring the past back into the present thinking that this would make me happier or something. It’s wrong. It took me time to understand, but it’s wrong. I now know that the sun in spring will never look like when I looked at it during the Romanian literature class in college, and my mother’s sarmale will not taste the same as when I lived with her. The reason is quite obvious: I’m not in the Romanian class in college or living in my mother’s house anymore.
The present is never enough, you have it so you don’t miss it, while the past is gone and sometimes you’d like to turn back the time and feel again what you felt in the past, live again those moment when you didn’t have to worry for the rent and other day-to-day responsibilities.
Living in another country made me miss more things that I ever thought I could miss, and this made me want to go back to Romania, but then I realize that if I’d go back I would probably miss living here much more than I now miss Romania. Present is now and here for me, past is gone and I keep all the good memories which come back to me from time to time with a smell, with a dream, with a call, and future… oh, future is brighter than Orange.
This is just a note to tell myself that present might be here, and I might not miss it but it’s much better than past so I wouldn’t change it for any of the good moments I have lived before.
